1 year ago today

It seems like 1 year ago was only yesterday as I can remember it so vividly like it is a recurring dream or something only it was reality for me! I year ago today I went to work just like any other day. I had a high risk appointment scheduled for 3:30, looking back I can see God's intervention in the exact timing of everything. The doctor's office actually called that day to see if I wanted to reschedule to the following week because my apt was scheduled for in the morning and the doctor was going to be out of the office but when given the opportunity to reschedule for that afternoon, I grabbed it as I didn't want to wait another week for my highly anticipated sonogram of my twins. I loved going to the apts and getting to watch my babies swim around my belly! "I often think what would have happened if I did reschedule for the following week." My day was a little stressful at work as I was training a new employee who would be my replacement while I was out "little did she know she would be starting so soon" and I was also training an intern. I was glad when 3:00 rolled around and I could scurry out of the office. That day I ate my typical unhealthy pregnant woman's lunch of chicken tenders, onion rings, and a coke frosty at about 11 am and of course numerous snacks throughout the day. Preston and I had to wait a little bit at the apt since the doc had been out. We went in and the ultrasound lady started as usual but this time she was way less chatty and she said "the doctor will be right in." I looked at Preston and said "honey I think something is wrong, he assured me everything was ok and that I was just sensitive." The doc usually took forever to come in but he was in within seconds and after a short sonogram asked me if I was feeling the contractions...I said "contractions???" He said "lets hook you up to this machine to get a better idea of your contractions." I nervously got dressed went in this little room where he attached some probes to by belly and he said "are you sure you are not feeling these?" Apparently I was contracting every two minutes. He sent us straight to the hospital with a strict "no" when I asked if we could stop by the house to grab some things. I felt like I was playing monopoly and had just gotten the card that said "go straight to jail without stopping to collect $200." He gave me the news that I would not be returning to work and that I was going to the hospital to be evaluated and that I would most likely either stay 48 hours or for the remainder of my pregnancy. I am pretty sure at that point in time my mind went with the 48 hour option and I really didn't think about the long term option because I felt great but thought I better go and get checked out anyway. "Things obviously hadn't sunk in at this point in time." Preston drove my car and I started dialing numbers on our way as we only had about a 15 minute drive. First I called my work and broke the news that I would not be returning and that I was going to get checked out and would call them back once I was back at home. I can only imagine their faces on the other end of the phone line as I was cool as a cucumber. I then called my sisters and desperately tried to get in touch with mom who was out of town in DC with my sister Mary Ellen. We got to the hospital at about 5:30 and asked the desk how to get to L&D and they gave directions and said "would you like us to wheel you up" I stupidly said "no I'm fine I am just going to get checked out, I am fine to walk." I had no clue that would be my last walk for weeks! I went up and got my gown on and they started monitoring me. Within minutes it seemed like I had the entire hospital in my room. I had been feeling wonderful but after 9 attempts to get an IV started and what seemed like a 100 shots to stop contractions I started feeling really icky. I was also ill because I was SO hungry, they would not let me eat because of the risk that they may have to do a csection "a twin pregnant woman who hasn't eaten since 11am is not a happy camper!" I think my body finally entered the shock stage along with my mind. Little did I know that the hospital was preparing to deliver my babies that night. The NICU nurses told me that they even had their beds ready and waiting for them as soon as they heard about me. I apparently was the only one not aware of this. My pivotal moment was when the head of the high risk team came in and told me that my babies had a 40% survival rate at being born and that they were weighing in at just 1 pound he then preceded to tell me that I would not be leaving the hospital until they were born. I started crying "only to myself" when everyone left the room and thought "why would he tell me this." I kept thinking...40% that is maybe one of my babies making it. We had already painted their beautiful nursery with "Gracie and Bailey at the front of their verse and I was determined to bring both babies home to this nursery." I remember that the doctor told me that each week would increase their survival rate by 10% until the 27th week and so that is when I put my game face on and thought to myself that I would show these people. I knew in my heart that my Gracie and Bailey would be ok but little did I know that it would take ALOT of patience and this is where my seven week journey began 1 year ago today!