Sharing Mom

This past week was my first week back at my job as a hospice social worker. For those of you who don't know, before I had the twins I worked in hospice for about the past six years. It is a job that I love and could honestly say that I enjoy doing it each and every day. The decision for me to go back to work PRN was something that I really struggled with. It was time to renew my social work license which requires 35 hours of continuing ed and you have to pay a costly fee and so I began to question if I should renew or not. Alot of factors played into our decision but the biggest one was me giving the decision to God. I prayed for his guidance in helping me to make my decision. I think it was a hard decision because I feared having to leave my most favorite job which is being Gracie and Bailey's mom and caring for them each minute of the day. The morning I prayed I opened my schedule book that I keep track of daily routine in to find this verse "Ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full. John 16:24." Earlier in the week I ran into a family at the grocery store who I had helped with their mom and they began talking about what a wonderful experience they had. It was pretty much like God was slapping me in the face while telling me what to do. So I sent the email to my old boss and within a couple days I had things all set up for me to begin working 1 day a week. I know that I am EXTREMELY blessed in this economy to have such an accommodating opportunity that meets our needs perfectly. This past week the social worker who is in my old position had her vacation and so my 8 hours turned into 33hours but I am holding ground and I am planning to stay at 8 hours a week from now on. Gracie and Bailey were cared for by Preston's mom, Becky and then my mom and my sister and her children came to visit for the week and so they had lots of distractions while I was away.

Going back to work is a very opinionated topic as far as people's input on the topic goes. It seems like everyone was so thrilled with me staying at home with my babies but now I am told on a daily basis that "it is good for me to work and get out of the house." Before having children I always thought I would be one of those moms who would say "I have to work because it makes me a better mom" but I was so wrong. I absolutely love every second with Gracie and Bailey, sure some days are more trying then others "when carrying two babies at once, feeding them at once, putting two fussy babies done at one time, cleaning double the amount of bottles and etc " but my heart is happy at home. For their first six weeks I had to leave them in the care of other's hands and now I am blessed beyond belief to be able to care for them myself. I was going to title this "working mom" but I already work at home about 10 times harder then I do at my job so I didn't think it was a suitable title.
What I have realized since returning to work is that I have a gift that God wants me to share with my patients and families. It is a gift of being able to sit on the bedside of a patient who has a life limiting illness and to be able to hold their hand, listen to their fears and help them to say their goodbyes peacefully and to also support their family in this very hard moment in their life. Since being on bedrest for 7 weeks I feel like I can relate more with my patients and really can give them empathy when they talk about missing their belongings, pets, or home environment. Each day at work I am reminded that life is a precious gift and for that I am thankful.

Gracie and Bailey's fun while mom was away!